ASHEVILLE- Pictures are worth a thousand words for 80 percent of Asheville residents.
According to a new poll conducted by the Citizen Thymes and the Treasure Club 80 percent of participants admitted to just looking at Go Topless photo galleries on various news outlets’ websites, while having no idea what the articles or the Go Topless protesters are about.
The poll also revealed 15 percent of respondents read the articles and looked at the pictures of topless protesters, while five percent of respondents were unaware of the term ‘read’ or ‘news.’
The Go Topless rally was held downtown for the second year in a row yesterday. However, articles about the appeared in both the Mountain Xpess and the Citizen Times all last week covering the rally and it’s supposed organizers, the Raelians, who believe in divine extraterrestrial beings.
“They believe in Aliens huh?” said Garrett Seeley, a 35-year-old Asheville resident and poll participant.
“So they are Tom Cruise’s people? Tom Cruise rallying topless women right after a divorce that’s some mighty risky business. Are breasts some kind of ‘E.T. phone home’ device?”
Seeley admits he has never read an article about the Go Topless rally, but ganders at the photo galleries quite frequently.
“I like to look at all the photos of the male creepers at the rallies,” said Seeley.
“Looking at those fellers gives me confidence that my life could certainly be worse. Why don’t those guys creep over the internet like normal people do?”
The Asheville City Council wrote a letter urging citizens not to attend Sunday’s rally and promised they would pass future legislation to try to prevent the rally in the future.
“So the City Council wants to wage a war on breasts?” said Ryan Hudson, a 43-year-old Asheville resident and poll respondent.
“Why doesn’t the City Council pass legislation to prevent protests like the Westboro Baptist Church that actually hurts people? The city will probably pass an ordinance and screw it up to where women can’t breast feed in public anymore. Then the hippies will be up in a tizzy and they will just have to repeal the ordinance when all is said and done.”
Hudson admits to reading the articles, but says he ganders at the photo galleries of topless protestors more than once.
“Let’s just say when I have to relieve some pressure the photo galleries come in handy,” said Hudson.
“Mountain Xpress in my Internet History log looks a lot better than BigTitties.com to my snoopy wife.”
The Xpress and Citizen Times photographers were unavailable for comment late Sunday on their thoughts about individuals fondling themselves to their photos.