Asheville baby-bear boom expected, Focus on the Family blames pre-marital sex, gay bears

  • SumoMe

ASHEVILLE- Experts are predicting more cubs in the spring this year due to an abundance of food sources and a significant drop in hunting yields of bears in WNC.

 

The cub explosion will likely bring in a wave of cuteness and adorableness come spring.

 

But Focus on the Family doesn’t think this expected rise of cubs out of wedlock is cute or adorable at all.

 

One example of how Asheville culture has impacted bear culture

One example of how Asheville culture has impacted bear culture

“We just think it is a tragedy to know all these cubs will be raised without a father,” said Carrie Gordon Earll, media spokesperson for Focus on the Family.

 

“As a nation we have lost touch with our family values. With the rise of premarital sex and the rejection of traditional marriage, we can’t help but see bears have looked at our culture as an example and we are failing bears not only in North Carolina, but everywhere.”

 

Focus on the Family explains bears mimic human culture. Focus on the Family claims the rise in single parents in the United States has risen at the same rate as single parents in bear culture. Furthermore, Focus on the Family points to the fact that bears have adopted a gay lifestyle is a good example of how human culture impacts bear culture.

 

“We have heard that there is gay bears now,” said Earll.

 

Lack of family values caused Winnie the Pooh to have a drinking problem according to Focus on the Family

Lack of family values caused Winnie the Pooh to have a drinking problem according to Focus on the Family

“These gay bears have completely rejected their heritage and we hear that they hang out at bars, instead of foraging in the woods for berries. Our lack of disregard of family values has encouraged Winnie the Pooh to have a drinking problem. That is just plain sad. A woman in my congreagation said her son tried to date a gay bear once.”

 

Focus on the Family encourages everyone that is skeptical of their theory to just watch the documentary Ted to see how far bear culture has dwindled.

 

A message was left with Christopher Robin, Winnie the Pooh’s owner, asking for comment about his toy bear’s drinking problem was not returned Tuesday night.

 

Focus on the Family is asking for donations to pay for their March mission trip that will encourage mother bear’s to breast-feed. You can make a donation here.

Author: citizenthymes

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