ASHEVILLE- Sure city parks seem safe enough with hippies hula hooping, families picnicking, dogs chasing after flying discs, and squirrels scurrying around doing whatever squirrels do.
But to a 10-year-old strapped with a bazooka Nerf gun with a mission to kill as many bad guys as possible, everything becomes a potential danger especially when Fido the family dog could potentially eat your ammunition.
So when 10-year-old Jacob Reemer received news that the Asheville City Council voted last night to comply with new North Carolina state laws allowing concealed carry permit holders to carry in city parks, Reemer fired his Nerf gun bazooka in the air with glee.
“When my friends and I go to Carrier Park to play war there are bad guys everywhere,” said Reemer.
“There is bad guys in the bushes, bad guys in the sky, bad guys on top of the power poles. I feel much safer now, knowing there will be people with real guns serving as back up to make sure we don’t get killed by these imaginary bad guys. One time my friend Kyle got killed by a bad guy and he laid in the grass for like a whole minute.”
Reemer says he and his friends play Nerf gun wars at least twice a week, leaving the potential for an imaginary bad guy to shoot one of his friends at a city park high. Reemer is just glad a concealed carry permit holder will now be there to finish the imaginary bad guy off.
“The bad guys are ruthless,” said Reemer.
“They know we are carrying bazookas. But they show up regardless, because bad guys don’t care about other people carrying guns because they just want to do harm regardless of the consequences. I can’t wait until one of these imaginary bad guys gets popped with a real bullet.”
Although Reemer does admit that sometimes the bad guys don’t show up. The last time that happened Reemer shot his friend Kyle in the eye with the Nerf gun bazooka because Kyle wouldn’t help him dig a fox hole.
“It was not my proudest moment,” said Reemer.
“I’m a trained soldier and I know better than to shoot a bazooka for a silly reason. But my anger got the best of me. War sometimes gets intense. I probably should have left my bazooka at home, because I knew the bad guys were on vacation.”
The imaginary bad guys were unavailable for comment Tuesday evening. It is not clear yet, whether the new concealed carry permit laws will deter them from attacking 10-year-olds with an imagination.