ASHEVILLE- Jim Rich has always hated his coworkers.
But today takes the birthday cake of hate days for Rich.
Today, April Fools Day is Rich’s birthday and according to office policy that means his coworkers are supposed to get him a cake. But for the fourth year in a row Rich will not be receiving a cake, because his coworkers don’t want to fall for an April Fools Day prank.
“I can understand maybe the first year not getting me a cake, but you would think after not celebrating my birthday at all for four years it might sink in my birthday really is today,” said Rich.
“I work with a bunch of morons.”
Rich’s coworkers however might not be as dumb as Rich thinks.
“Oh we know full well today is his birthday,” said Jenny Phelps, one of Rich’s coworkers.
“Nobody likes Rich, he constantly complains and he never attends the office Christmas party. He always takes the last cup of coffee and then never makes a new pot of coffee. Why would we spend money on a cake for someone we don’t like? I know it sounds kind of mean, but we are probably doing him a favor, he needs to lose a couple pounds.”
Rich will spend his lunch hour like he has spent his past four birthday lunch hours at Tupelo Honey enjoying a nice slice of pecan pie to himself.
“Who needs people, when you can have pecan pie?” said Rich.
“If the state of North Carolina would let me, I would marry pecan pie and it would probably be a lot healthier relationship than what I have now for a marriage. No I’m kidding I love my wife. April Fools!”