ASHEVILLE- When Isaac Dickson Elementary School second grader James Horn returns to school he has a question or two for the science portion of his day.
Horn woke up yesterday morning to a variety of chocolate covered eggs in his Easter basket, but instead of seizing the delicious chocolate like all the previous Easters, young Horn’s mind began to inquire where exactly did the chocolate eggs come from?
“I asked my mommy where did the eggs come from?” said Horn.
“She told me my rabbit Peter brought them for Jesus. I asked her how Peter got the money to buy them and she said Peter just made them. I then asked her how did he make them and she just told me Peter poops them out once a year. I then asked her if it was safe to eat the eggs since it came out of Peter’s but and she said it was. It is kind of gross, butt I like chocolate and Jesus.”
Horn not fully satisfied with his mother’s answer plans on asking his third grade teacher Mrs. Gould her thoughts on where the eggs come from.
Horn’s Mother Susan just hopes Mrs. Gould is up to the task.
“I probably could of handled that conversation better, but they don’t exactly hand you a fact sheet of this is what you need to tell your kids about the Easter bunny when you become a parent,” said Susan.
“He also asked me why if Peter loved Jesus so much he only created chocolate eggs once a year? I just told him because Peter was a lazy Christian like his father, who only celebrates his love for Jesus twice a year by only going to church on Christmas and Easter. I know not the ideal answer, but what do you say to that?”
Susan knows the questions won’t stop anytime soon and is already researching what you should tell your children when they ask, ‘Where do babies come from?’
“I don’t really remember my birds and the bees conversation from my parents,” said Susan.
“And now that I think about it, birds and bees? That doesn’t even make sense. Please pray for my son.”
James saved a chocolate egg and is hoping Mrs. Gould will let him take a look at it under the classroom microscope. James is also still beyond confused how Peter wrapped the egg in a shiny plastic wrapper and why he wrote Russell Stover on the wrapper.
“Life is really confusing,” said James.
“Maybe it will all become more clear when I’m older and smarter.”
The Citizen Thymes would just like to say to James, ‘good luck with that kid. Sincerely, a really confused old guy.’