ASHEVILLE- You can only ride the out of town excuse for so long.
For Asheville Tourists manager Joe Mikulik that excuse expired this past Thursday as he was fired from the ball club.
“We would like to thank Mikulik for his 13 years of dedication,” said Al Rogers, a representative for the Tourists’ parent club the Colorado Rockies.
“Unfortunately we took a hard look at Mikulik and decided you really can’t call yourself a tourist if you have been living in this town for 13 years. Joe never asked for directions, stiffed a server, asked where he could pet a bear, or asked for the nearest Famous Daves because he wanted to enjoy quality Southern barbecue. It is quite clear Joe was no longer tourist material.”
The firing comes as a shock as Mikulik was the most successful manager in Tourists history and had coached the Tourists to a South Atlantic League title this year.
“Sometimes winning isn’t everything,” said Rogers.
“The Tourists’ parent club the Colorado Rockies has a long history of not winning, which we are ok with. We just felt if we let Mikulik continue coaching it would be false advertising, because Joe is clearly not a tourist anymore.”
The Tourists will be holding open tryouts for the new manager position outside the Biltmore House this week. The Tourists are on the lookout for someone that really embodies the Tourists name.
“We will be looking for people that wear fanny packs and carry disposable Polaroid cameras,” said Rogers.
“But the look isn’t the only thing that is important. We will also be judging people’s intellect. So for example if someone were to ask a question like, ‘Was the Biltmore House here before Pocahontas?’ That would be the ideal person we would be looking for.”
The Tourists should have a new manager by the end of the week.