ASHEVILLE- Gov. Pat McCrory signed into law Tuesday a bill that cuts maximum weekly jobless payments from $535 to $350 on new claims beginning July 1st.
The move leaves many North Carolina residents wondering how the unemployed will manage to get by.
But for one Asheville man, the new law slashing benefits put pep in his step.
“Oh my gosh, wow, I was living such a luxurious lifestyle on $535 a week that I never saw the need to go out and look for jobs,” said Tom Freeney, a 38-year-old unemployed Asheville resident.
“But now that the state is lowering my amount to $350, I just don’t know if I can survive. Thank you Governor McCrory for the wake up call. I would have never felt the need to take care of myself if the government had never stopped taking care of me. Self reliance is cool man.”
Freeney filled out several job applications yesterday for the first time in months.
“I use to fill out job applications every day, but after taking rejection after rejection I just quit all together because the jobs just did not exist,” said Freeney.
“But I have full faith that McCrory’s solution for creating jobs by cutting unemployment benefits will work and there will be more jobs available. It just makes sense.”
Freeney plans on applying for jobs for the next month and if he doesn’t hear anything back from potential employers will move on to his old profession of robbing houses.
“A man has to eat and if I can’t get my food from Uncle Sam, unfortunately I’m going to have to take it from my neighbor,” said Freeney.
“But hey even if I do resort to robbing houses, I will still be helping McCrory out. You need cops to catch robbers. By hiring more cops to solve violence caused by poverty and survival, is just another way McCrory is creating new jobs in North Carolina.”
Finally, Freeney likes the new law slashing benefits because it will save the state and taxpayers money.
“The lower rates will mean people will have to choose between survival resources like food or health to get by,” said Freeney.
“Whether they choose to sacrifice food or health, either way poor people are going to die faster than they were under the old system. The poor dying faster means we will all save money in the long run by not having to support them over a longer lifespan.”
Freeney made sure one of his job applications was for a position in McCrory’s cabinet.
“I hear McCrory is handing out raises,” said Freeney.
“But the people in the cabinet deserve it, after all they have been in office for about a month now.”