ASHEVILLE- Read the sign.
But read the sign if you want to win over your local Biltmore Estate worker.
Biltmore Estate tour guide Jay Ester is sick and tired of telling Biltmore Estate visitors to quit touching things inside the house.
“We are right up front up with about no touching things, there are even signs,” said Ester.
“But no, nobody can follow directions anymore. I had some lady the other day that was like, ‘but we drove all the way from California’ and I’m so old. And I was like, ‘I don’t give a shit where you are from, for the love of God quit touching shit, unless you brought some of that Cali weed.’ Ok so I didn’t say that last part.”
Ester says he spend the majority of his days telling people not to touch things, in between answering dumb questions.
“I get asked the question all the time at the end of the tour when was the house built?” said Ester.
“Really? For Vanderbilt’s sake please listen. Like I would fail to mention what year the house was built in the last hour we have spent together. Those are the same people who touch shit.”
Ester explains people feel the need to touch things because of the high price of admission.
“There always like we paid so much, why can’t we touch history,” said Ester.
“And I’m always like the same reason ‘why I can’t treat you to Ruth Chris’s prime rib and expect to get laid.’ Here at the Biltmore Estate we want to let you look at what you can’t have, not touch what you can’t have. Because if you touch it, you might start to realize that shit you’re touching is just that, shit. That’s the American dream to work a dead end job that you hate for shit you ultimately don’t want.”
Ester is considering leaving his current position at the Biltmore. But just like last month realizes he has to pay rent on Friday.