ASHEVILLE- Buncombe County school board member Lisa Baldumb pledged during Thursday’s school board meeting she would say, ‘Heil Hitler’ at the next meeting.
But Baldumb plans on doing much more than uttering the name of her beloved fuhrer at the next school board meeting.
Baldumb plans on marking every Jew present at the next meeting with a gold star to make sure they know their place.
“Hey if my fellow board members want to run the meetings like Nazis, I think I should be able to persecute a culture just like Nazis if I want to,” said Baldumb.
“Limiting people’s opportunity to speak at school board meetings and systematically eliminating a culture is practically the same thing you know? I can’t wait to see the look on my banker’s face when I brand him with a gold star. It’s going to be hysterical.”
Baldumb this past Thursday accused her fellow board members Bob Rhinehart of being Nazi-like, when he tried to explain the process for giving direction to the school system’s superintendent. Baldumb explained Rhinehardt’s clarification should have been submitted in advance as required by the board’s policy.
“When he did that I was like that is so Hitler minus the yearning for men, self hatred, and mother issues, but Hitler nonetheless,” said Baldumb.
“And I was like, ‘excuse me, do I need to like say like Heil Hitler at the next meeting?’ Oh and I’m totally going to, I might even round a few Jews ups in a boxcar to show that the way we conduct meetings as a school board is so totally close to WW2 Germany. It’s important to see history is being repeated.”
Baldumb was willing to share her agenda for the next board meeting with the Citizen Thymes. Proposed changes to Buncombe County schools from Baldumb include:
All students will be required to wear uniforms with Nazi regalia
Physical Education classes will now require mandatory marching sessions
All mentions of equality should be wiped from textbooks
Students should be taught how to make really bad analogies
Students should be taught the best way to get what you want is to attack the other person’s character versus attacking the other person’s argument.