Unemployed Asheville man to run against Moffitt in hopes for UNC-TV job offer from Moffitt
Mar13

Unemployed Asheville man to run against Moffitt in hopes for UNC-TV job offer from Moffitt

ASHEVILLE- What one man sees as an ethics violation, another man sees as a job opportunity.   Unemployed Asheville resident Mike Jones officially filed paperwork yesterday to run against Republican incumbent Rep. Tim Moffitt for the N.C. House District 116 seat.   “It’s a tough job market out there,” said Jones.   “So if Mr. Moffitt is giving out jobs to his political opponents in exchange for dropping out of races, I say why not give a run at a house seat a shot. I knew the new economy would require me to be creative to acquire a job, I just didn’t know I had to be this creative.”   Jones decided to run for the District 116 seat yesterday after learning Rep. Moffitt had reportedly offered Democrat opponent Brian Turner an opportunity to run UNC-TV in exchange for dropping out of the race. Turner turned down the opportunity and called the offer a possible ethics violation, but Jones is willing to look the other way in regards to ethics, if it means employment for the first time in six months.   “You would be amazed how quickly your ethics disappear when you have been forced to live off of exclusively Ramen for the past six months,” said Jones.   “I wasn’t really going to vote for Moffitt, because I never really saw him as a job creator. But I have to say this incident has changed my mind and if I get the UNC-TV job for running and then dropping out, Mr. Moffitt is definitely getting my vote.”   Jones, who graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in English from UNC Charlotte and former Papa John’s pizza delivery driver, says he is ready if offered by Moffitt to run UNC-TV, despite not having any media or production experience.   “Unemployment has allowed me to thoroughly study Netflix’s vast media library,” said Jones.   “You could say I’m a journeyman in what makes good television.”   However, if Moffitt doesn’t offer UNC-TV to Jones, Jones has yet to figure out what issues he will base his campaign on.   “I don’t know what issues I want to tackle first, perhaps state legalization of marijuana or free Tibet,” said Jones.   “That way I don’t have to listen to my drug dealer Tom go on and on about how the lizard people are taking over America. Tim Moffitt is a good example how that theory has to be bunk. Lizards are known to be cold-blooded creatures, but Moffitt had it in his heart to not only offer Turner a job, but also warn Turner that third parties outside of Moffitt’s control...

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BeerCity poll dead, Asheville Chamber of Commerce found bedside frantically trying to resuscitate with defibrillator
Mar12

BeerCity poll dead, Asheville Chamber of Commerce found bedside frantically trying to resuscitate with defibrillator

ASHEVILLE- Letting a loved one go is always hard.   It’s even harder to let a loved one go, which essentially did your job for you.   So when the BeerCity USA poll’s heart stopped and the doctor muttered ‘we’ve lost it’ over the piercing sound of the heart rate monitor, Kit Cramer, President and CEO of the Asheville Chamber of Commerce lost it.   Cramer was overheard yelling, “don’t die on me dammit,” “what am I supposed to say about Asheville now,”  “you really think people under 50 care about the Biltmore House?” and “clear” from the waiting room of Mission Hospital, in between the sound of the defibrillator shocking the BeerCity USA poll’s lifeless chest.   Nurses scrambled to restrain Cramer, but were halted by Charlie Papazian, the father of BeerCity USA poll, stern voice say ‘let her be.’   Papazian placed a hand on Cramer’s shoulder and whispered, “it’s ok” into Cramer’s ear. Upon hearing Papazian, Cramer dropped the defibrillator paddles and fell helplessly onto BeerCity USA poll’s cold body, crying frantically and beating on its chest, screaming, “why God, why now?”   “It is definitely hard to say goodbye to a child, but it is also nice to know they had an impact,” said Papazian.   “I had no idea that the BeerCity USA poll had such an impact in Kit’s life. I hope she will be ok.”   The BeerCity USA poll lived to be five-years-old and is survived by it’s father Charlie Papazian. The BeerCity USA poll is known to be the only living organism other than Jesus to be conceived by just one human, justifying the Asheville Chamber of Commerce’s annual worship of the poll.   The BeerCity USA poll is said to of died, as sacrifice for your daily beer intake. So the next time you drink an Asheville brew, be sure to thank the poll for dying to save you from the ills of drinking hoppy goodness.   As for Cramer, she was last seen trying to think of interesting ways to repackage a house built by a rich dead guy to unsuspecting...

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Rental car salesman to craft brewery owner, Mike Rangel of Asheville Brewing talks life on Finding Asheville
Mar10

Rental car salesman to craft brewery owner, Mike Rangel of Asheville Brewing talks life on Finding Asheville

Budget Rental car salesman to craft brewery owner?   Nathan sits down with Mike Rangel, president of Asheville Brewing Company for the 26th episode of Finding Asheville. They chat about growing up in Uruguay, Lexington, Ky, and Venezuela. Whether or not Asheville can sustain and support such an ample amount of breweries, how Mike despite having no craft beer experience entered the craft brew industry, why all Asheville businesses need to run their business through the ‘Asheville filter’ to succeed, and why sometimes too many ideas, especially when framed from the wrong perspective can ultimately limit progress.   Listen to the full episode below or via iTunes here: This episode was recorded at Mojo Coworking at 60 North Market Street in Downtown Asheville.   Be sure to subscribe to the podcast via iTunes here to get new episodes to download to your listening devices each week and get caught up on past episodes!   Oh and if you are feeling super nice like the Finding Asheville Facebook page...

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There’s beer in the water, Mike Rangel of Asheville Brewing Company on Finding Asheville Monday
Mar07

There’s beer in the water, Mike Rangel of Asheville Brewing Company on Finding Asheville Monday

The 26th episode of Finding Asheville will be with president of Asheville Brewing Company Mike Rangel.   Listen to a preview below:   Nathan sits down with Mike Rangel, president of Asheville Brewing Company for the 26th episode of Finding Asheville. They chat about growing up in Uruguay, Lexington, Ky, and Venezuela. Whether or not Asheville can sustain and support such an ample amount of breweries, how Mike despite having no craft beer experience entered the craft brew industry, why all Asheville businesses need to run their business through the ‘Asheville filter’ to succeed, and why sometimes too many ideas, especially when framed from the wrong perspective can ultimately limit progress.   This episode was recorded at Mojo Coworking at 60 North Market Street in Downtown Asheville.   Full episode will be available for download via iTunes March 10th here.   Remember the easiest way to listen to Finding Asheville each week is by clicking the subscribe button via iTunes...

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Happiness, Politics, and Showing up, Gordon Smith Asheville City Council Member talks life on Finding Asheville
Mar03

Happiness, Politics, and Showing up, Gordon Smith Asheville City Council Member talks life on Finding Asheville

Political flame thrower to non controversial politician?   Nathan chats with City Council Member and Counselor Gordon Smith for the 25th episode of Finding Asheville. They chat about growing up in Lakeland, Fla., what Asheville was like in the early 90’s, doing volunteer work in Belfast, Ireland, opening his own therapy practice in Asheville, what exactly is involved with counseling, the two main factors impacting one’s happiness, the birth of Scrutiny Hooligans, his run for City Council, how to create jobs and affordable housing in Asheville, and why Gordon deserves two parody twitter accounts.   Listen to the full episode below or via iTunes here: This episode was recorded at Mojo Coworking at 60 North Market Street in Downtown Asheville.   Be sure to subscribe to the podcast via iTunes here to get new episodes to download to your listening devices each week and get caught up on past episodes!   Oh and if you are feeling super nice like the Finding Asheville Facebook page...

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City Council Member Gordon Smith talks Asheville success on Finding Asheville Monday
Feb28

City Council Member Gordon Smith talks Asheville success on Finding Asheville Monday

The 25th episode of Finding Asheville will be with City Council Member and Counselor Gordon Smith.   Listen to a preview below:   Nathan chats with City Council Member and Counselor Gordon Smith for the 25th episode of Finding Asheville. They chat about growing up in Lakeland, Fla., what Asheville was like in the early 90’s, doing volunteer work in Belfast, Ireland, opening his own therapy practice in Asheville, what exactly is involved with counseling, the two main factors impacting one’s happiness, the birth of Scrutiny Hooligans, his run for City Council, how to create jobs and affordable housing in Asheville, and why Gordon deserves two parody twitter accounts.   This episode was recorded at Mojo Coworking at 60 North Market Street in Downtown Asheville.   Full episode will be available for download via iTunes March 3rd here.   Remember the easiest way to listen to Finding Asheville each week is by clicking the subscribe button via iTunes...

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