Asheville father shows son Chick-fil-A campers as example of what giving up on life looks like
Apr03

Asheville father shows son Chick-fil-A campers as example of what giving up on life looks like

ASHEVILLE- Usually when Garrison Ford wants to teach his 9-year-old son Leonard a lesson he just revokes Leonard’s television viewing privileges for a week.   But when more than 100 people camped out in a parking lot of a soon to be opened Chick-fil-A on Merrimon Avenue, in hopes of being one of the first 100 people in line to win 52 sandwiches, 52 orders of waffle fries, and 52 medium drinks or $292.76 worth of product from...

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Unemployed Asheville man to run against Moffitt in hopes for UNC-TV job offer from Moffitt
Mar13

Unemployed Asheville man to run against Moffitt in hopes for UNC-TV job offer from Moffitt

ASHEVILLE- What one man sees as an ethics violation, another man sees as a job opportunity.   Unemployed Asheville resident Mike Jones officially filed paperwork yesterday to run against Republican incumbent Rep. Tim Moffitt for the N.C. House District 116 seat.   “It’s a tough job market out there,” said Jones.   “So if Mr. Moffitt is giving out jobs to his political opponents in exchange for dropping out of races, I...

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BeerCity poll dead, Asheville Chamber of Commerce found bedside frantically trying to resuscitate with defibrillator
Mar12

BeerCity poll dead, Asheville Chamber of Commerce found bedside frantically trying to resuscitate with defibrillator

ASHEVILLE- Letting a loved one go is always hard.   It’s even harder to let a loved one go, which essentially did your job for you.   So when the BeerCity USA poll’s heart stopped and the doctor muttered ‘we’ve lost it’ over the piercing sound of the heart rate monitor, Kit Cramer, President and CEO of the Asheville Chamber of Commerce lost it.   Cramer was overheard yelling, “don’t die on me dammit,” “what am I...

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Asheville man paralyzed with decision of what flannel shirt to wear today
Feb18

Asheville man paralyzed with decision of what flannel shirt to wear today

ASHEVILLE- Heath Mason had already reduced his morning anxiety a year ago when he decided to wear the same pair of skinny jeans for the rest of his life.   Despite his anxiety prevention move, Mason found himself rubbing his lens-free horn-rimmed glasses, with mouth a gaped staring at his mass closet collection of flannel shirts early Tuesday morning.   “There is just so many,” said Mason.   “Red ones, blue ones, green...

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Unemployed Asheville man spends snow day like everyday smoking pot and watching Netflix
Feb14

Unemployed Asheville man spends snow day like everyday smoking pot and watching Netflix

ASHEVILLE- Even a snow day can’t screw up Jerry Morgan’s daily routine.   Mr. Morgan spent yesterday’s snow day doing what he does every day smoking pot and searching Netflix for shows to watch.   “Snow days can create chaos for some folks,” said Morgan.   “For me, I made life choices a long time ago that created the chaos in my life.”   Morgan a 24-year-old unemployed man, who lives in his parents’ basement in...

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Asheville atheist snowman pleads for God as sunrays scorch icy flesh
Feb14

Asheville atheist snowman pleads for God as sunrays scorch icy flesh

ASHEVILLE- Abe the snowman a life long atheist has always questioned the existence of God, because he thought how could any creator be so cruel as to create life without legs and thus imprison Abe to staring at a West Asheville bungalow overran by cats and defined by an intense urine smell.   But if Abe the snowman had been blessed with knees, he would certainly be on them right now begging God for salvation.   West...

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