Saturday 25th May 2013,

News Flash :

Gun Bill has Asheville man excited at thought of putting still mooing steak served at local restaurants out of misery with handgun
WNC Nature Center’s Cotsworld Sheep doesn’t understand how Asheville mayor fasting will save home
Asheville bids on Ironman, Asheville man says no reason to give a rich Tony Stark more money
Asheville man born on April Fools Day can’t convince any of his coworkers today is his birthday
Asheville second grader doesn’t understand why household pet bunny rabbit poops chocolate eggs once a year for Jesus
Street preacher praying for future of Bele Chere, yelling at Asheville sinners always highlight of his year
Woman submits broken microwave to ‘You Spot It, We Fix It’ City of Asheville App disappointed in lack of repair
Rep. Tim Moffitt Tied to Nipple-Gate, Lobbyists Sucking on Government Teat
After attending Asheville Tattoo Fest, Asheville woman still regrets getting ink of shithead ex boyfriend’s name on buttock
Global War on Terror near Asheville, Gee Haw Whimmydiddle Cell Busted in Loafer’s Glory

National

Boy Scouts ban gay Scouts and troop leaders in fear gays will change ‘tacky’ brown uniforms

Posted by citizenthymes /
July 23, 2012
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IRVING, TEXAS- The shirts with holes in the armpits and pizza sauce stains of yesteryear strung about the front seem to always survive closet cleanings. Those shirts no matter...

Congress finds solution to childhood obesity in Farm bill

National News With Spice

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Posted by citizenthymes /
July 16, 2012
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WASHINGTON, D.C.- Childhood obesity has more than tripled in the last 30 years in the United States. Congress took a pivotal step in reducing childhood obesity Thursday. The U.S....

U.S. House repeals Obamacare, reaffirms faith in U.S. flag in same week

National News With Spice

Posted by citizenthymes /
July 16, 2012
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WASHINGTON, D.C.- The One Hundred Twelfth U.S. Congress has been deemed by many as the “do nothing” Congress for the legislative body’s inability to pass bills. Members of the...

GOP lays out July 17-race runoff plan for 11th Congressional District candidates Vance Patterson & Mark Meadows

Local National News With Spice State

Team HUMMER H3 at TSCO Vegas to Reno Race

Posted by citizenthymes /
July 09, 2012
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ASHEVILLE- They say an elephant never forgets. Two GOP candidates are in for an election race runoff for the 11th Congressional District seat they will never forget on July...

PepsiCo, Coca-Cola confident fracking will boost bottled water sales

National News With Spice State

Posted by citizenthymes /
July 09, 2012
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RALEIGH- Try to find the good in every situation. PepsiCo and Coca-Cola have found the good in the recent fracking bill approved by the North Carolina legislature that allows...

Man, who downloads Internet porn, confused why his computer doesn’t have virus

National News With Spice State

Posted by citizenthymes /
July 09, 2012
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CHARLOTTE- The “Internet Doomsday” virus shut down 69,000 computers today in the United States as the FBI’s temporary fix for all computers impacted by the malicious software expired 12:00 a.m....

Canada sues USSC over health care decision, influx of moron immigrants from US

National News With Spice

Posted by citizenthymes /
July 02, 2012
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OTTAWA- The United States Supreme Court decision to uphold the Affordable Care Act last week, specifically the individual mandate, has had political pundits talking about how the decision will impact...

Hannity comes out as gay after watching Magic Mike with wife

National News With Spice

Posted by citizenthymes /
July 02, 2012
/ 1 Comment

NEW YORK, NY- Magic Mike collected $39.2 million at the box office this weekend and left thousands of ladies lusting for more as the credits ticked away. But for...

Man who still giggles immaturely at ‘Vagina’ almost dies of laughter

National News With Spice

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Posted by citizenthymes /
June 25, 2012
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LANSING, MICH- Michigan Democratic state Rep. Lisa Brown found herself in the spotlight after mentioning the word ‘vagina’ while opposing an anti-abortion bill on the House floor. Subsequently Brown was...

Sandusky Defense ‘Hope He Dies Before Verdict’

National News With Spice

Posted by citizenthymes /
June 18, 2012
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ALLENTOWN, PA- Jerry Sandusky’s defense against 52 charges of child-sex abuse is set to begin Today. After eight of his alleged victims testified this past week about how...