ASHEVILLE- The Asheville City Council voted in favor 5-1 for the demolition of the historic ice house building Tuesday night.
The demolition is expected to cost taxpayers $145,000.
But Asheville man Tom Stevens has a cheaper proposal that will cost taxpayers nothing.
The idea? Let the ice house melt.
“The spring and summer heat wave will get here eventually and with it the power to melt a structure made of ice,” said Stevens.
“No reason to spend all that money on cranes and bull dozers in a tight economy. Besides we could collect all the water runoff from the melt and put it back in the City of Asheville’s water supply.”
Stevens, who received an A- in Chemistry his junior year of high school, is confident enough heat will get the job done.
“This is basic science,” said Stevens.
“If you don’t believe me just watch Inconvenient Truth. All those glaciers at the North Pole are melting because it is too hot outside. If heat can take down a glacier, surely heat can take down a building made of ice.”
After fact checking with Asheville city officials it appears the ice house is not made of ice, but instead brick and mortar. The ice house derives it name from the ice plant that was once operating inside the building.
The revelation that the ice house is not made of ice makes the previous 233 words a completely worthless read. Thanks a lot Tom Stevens! If you would like to write an angry letter to Stevens for wasting your time, click here.