Despite winning Culinary SuperBowl, Asheville chefs have no desire to go to Disney Land

  • SumoMe

ASHEVILLE- Chef William Dissen of The Marketplace, Chef Elliot Moss of the Admiral and Chef Michael Moore of Blind Pig, y’all just won the Cast Iron Culinary SuperBowl.


What are you going to do next?



Moore, Dissen, and Moss. Photo courtesy of Ashvegas

“I don’t know, but we are not going to Disney Land, Bro,” said Moore.


Dissen, Moss, and Moore won the Cast Iron Culinary SuperBowl this past weekend held at the Greenbrier Resort in West Virginia. Usually the Most Valuable Player (MVP) of the winning team in the SuperBowl stars in a Disney Land commercial and gets an all expenses paid trip to Disney Land.


But the Asheville chefs said no thank you.


“No single MVP here, we are all MVPs in my mind,” said Dissen.


A losing team’s chef reportedly vomited after reading Dissen’s comment about the MVP.


However, civility and respect for each other’s work played a small role in the chefs’ decision not to go to Disney Land.


Asheville chefs plating their finished product this weekend

Asheville chefs plating their finished product this weekend

Moss of the Admiral couldn’t go because he apparently has a phobia of humans dressed up as cartoon characters.


“What can I say he is a culinary genius,” said Moore.


“You can’t be that creative and not be a little messed up in the head. Poor Moss will never be able to meet Mickey. It’s a shame.”


Dissen of The Marketplace couldn’t go because he was too busy working on his latest food sustainability project.


“Oh my word, we get it. Dissen likes farm to table,” said Moss.


“Is there a week when he is not in the paper for talking at some event about farm to table.  I told him I didn’t think local food advocates would be hurt if he decided to take a week off and enjoy some amusement rides.”


Finally, Moore couldn’t go because he was too busy perfecting his latest culinary creation for Blind Pig, Rocky Mountain oyster brewed beer infused with bacon and octopus.


“You know how Moore is? He has to use every part of the animal,” said Dissen.


“I think cow ball brewed beer will be a hit for those men, who feel like they need a little boost in testosterone. Bacon is a staple for Moore of course and octopus why the hell not?”


It is safe to say Dissen, Moss, and Moore will not be starring in a Disney commercial any time soon. Las Vegas odds are already favoring Dissen, Moss, and Moore to repeat next year.


UPDATE- The Citizen Thymes has been notified that due to Moss’s phobia of cartoon characters, Admiral diners will no longer be allowed to wear their favorite costumes while dining.

Author: citizenthymes

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