Federal Agent surprised by lack of octopus at Asheville Octopus Garden

  • SumoMe

Photo Courtesy of Ashvegas 

 

ASHEVILLE- If you visit an octopus garden, one would hope to find an octopus.

 

Homeland Security officer Randy Lee was quite disappointed by the absence of octopus after raiding the Octopus Garden on Monday.

 

“Talk about false advertising, not one octopus in the whole garden,” said Lee.

 

“I don’t know a lot about octopus farming, but they didn’t even have any aquariums or salt water in there either.  Do they grow the octopus off site? Here I fly all the way from Washington and all I wanted to do is pet an octopus. This trip has been so disappointing.”

 

Homeland Security, the Asheville Police Department, and the Buncombe, Transylvania, Henderson County sheriff’s offices joint raided Octopus Garden smoke shop locations Monday carrying out search warrants for bath salts.

 

“Whoever owns the place had to be smoking baths salts,” said Lee.

 

“Who names their establishment Octopus Garden but has no octopus? I just can’t wrap my head around it.”

 

Lee is considering a transfer to the FDA after Monday’s raid. He wants to spend the rest of his days prosecuting businesses for false advertising.

 

“Monday was the last straw,” said Lee.

 

“I don’t know how many times I have been fooled by Everlasting Gobstoppers. Everlasting my ass, do you see any Gobstoppers in my mouth? More like two minute Gobstoppers. This world needs justice.”

Author: citizenthymes

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