Tomorrow night Disclaimer Underground Comedy presents comedian Shalewa Sharpe at Elaine’s Piano Bar for free.

Show starts at 8:00 p.m.

From Sharpe’s Bio:

Shalewa Sharpe made her comedy debut in September 2009, but she has been hilarious since March 2011. She is based out of Atlanta. She’s a member of the comedy group Joke-a-Cola and she co-produces a show called SHAKE with Kevin Saucier.

 

Here are some clips of Sharpe performing:

For more Asheville stand up comedy check out our Asheville Comedy Calendar!

Slice of Life Comedy presents a comedy showcase featuring comedian Tim Northern tonight at the PULP.

Doors open at 8:30 p.m., show starts at 9:00 p.m. Tickets are $5, which includes a year membership to the Pulp.

About Northern:

Tim is a regular performer on the national comedy club circuit, having performed at the 2003 Montreal Just For Laughs Comedy Festival and appearing on CBS’s Star Search where he advanced to the finals. Following his Star Search appearance, Naomi Judd raved about his performance. “He’s the only one that could be a member of Mensa, she said. “I absolutely adore the cerebral humor. As Tim says “I provide you with two-thirds of the joke, and you provide the other third. It’s like do-it-yourself comedy.”

Here is a clip of Northern performing:

Joining Northern on stage will be comedians Kelly Row, Alex Joyce, Carlos Canales, Randy Robins, Andrew Cummins, James Hancock, Cody Hughes, Curtis Mcarly, Andy Perez and your host for the evening will be comedian Peter Smith McDowell.

For more Asheville stand up comedy check out our Asheville Comedy Calendar!

Disclaimer Underground Comedy presents Comedian Sean Patton at the Dirty South Lounge tonight. Show starts at 9:00 p.m. Tickets are $10 and can be purchased here.

About Patton:

My name is Sean Patton. I am Comedian based in New York and Los Angeles by way of New Orleans. I cut my teeth doing standup in the Crescent city and since have performed at Caroline’s, The Comedy Cellar, Gotham, The Improv, UCBNY, UCBLA, The Melbourne International comedy festival (2011), The Montreal Just for Laughs comedy festival (2008, 2010), and many other clubs around the US and Canada. I made my Basic Cable debut on Comedy Central’s “Live at Gotham” (2009) and my Network TV debut on “Late night with Jimmy Fallon” (2010). I also recently appeared on “Conan” (2011).

 

I love doing what I do. Some of you will love it too (thanks!), but some of you will not (thanks for coming)

 

My big plans for the future are to continue sharing my comedy with as many people as possible and to one day fall in love with You. Yes, You, the person reading this bio right now. Don’t worry about breaking my heart because I plan on turning the experience into material anyway. Later!

Here are some clips of Patton performing:

Joining Patton on stage will be comedians Rojo Perez, Michael Robinette, and Cody Hughes. Birthday Boy Peter Smith-McDowell is your host for the evening.

For more Asheville Stand Up Comedy check out our Asheville Comedy Calendar!

I like to imagine this is what Geek Out Asheville will be like this Saturday minus the renaissance outfits and add the superhero outfits. I have a ton of friends participating in Geek Out this year, click here for more information.

I remember when I use to do lines of Fun Dip before Little League games, didn’t help my batting percentage at all. Do you think cocaine would be a more profitable industry if every bag came with a candy dipping stick?

I just had Asheville Invisible Fence install a system in my yard and I’m pretty happy with it so far. Hopefully my dog Monte will be too.

Remember if you believe it hard enough, 5:00 will get here sooner than later. I think I read that in some self help book…..That is why I’m a millionaire, oh wait……

You know what’s not on that list? Eating ice cream for breakfast, yeah I said it and am still kicking, suck it nutrition!

Amateurs playing with actual beer in the cup that is a recipe to drinking every spec of germs the ball comes in contact with….

On a side note I’m getting really excited for Asheville Beer Week.

ASHEVILLE- Dane Bernard can’t seem to get his steak well done at local Asheville restaurants.

Every time Bernard gets a steak at a local eatery it seems to still be mooing according to Bernard.

But the steaks won’t be mooing for long if a new gun bill approved by a North Carolina House committee this past Wednesday allowing concealed handguns on college campuses, city greenways, bars, and restaurants becomes law.

“Some steaks I get in this town still have a heart beat when they come to my table,” said Bernard.

“This new law will allow me to whip out my pistol and put that cow out of its’ misery right after I say grace. You smell that? That smells like America my friend. All these Asheville chefs like to cook with fancy smancy ingredients, but have you ever tried a 32 oz T-Bone seared in gun powder, partner?”

It is unclear whether House Bill 937 would actually permit Bernard from firing his firearm at a defenseless cut of meat in a public place, but it would permit Bernard to carry in his firearm at a restaurant with little restrictions.

“I assure anytime I fire my pistol it is in self defense,” said Bernard.

“You think I see a still bleeding steak coming when I order it well done? I’m just trying to defend myself from a chef that doesn’t know what he or she is doing.”

The new gun bill escaped several proposed amendments including an amendment that would require servers to ask people if they are carrying a weapon before bringing them a drink, since people carrying concealed weapons aren’t supposed to consume alcohol.

“Good move by the committee, I can’t get through breakfast without a Budweiser let alone dinner,” said Bernard.

The new gun bill will add to the already ongoing debate about guns that has been going on strong for several months in Asheville now. Read our previous articles about other gun controversies in Asheville here and here.