Gun Bill has Asheville man excited at thought of putting still mooing steak served at local restaurants out of misery with handgun

  • SumoMe

ASHEVILLE- Dane Bernard can’t seem to get his steak well done at local Asheville restaurants.


Every time Bernard gets a steak at a local eatery it seems to still be mooing according to Bernard.


But the steaks won’t be mooing for long if a new gun bill approved by a North Carolina House committee this past Wednesday allowing concealed handguns on college campuses, city greenways, bars, and restaurants becomes law.


“Some steaks I get in this town still have a heart beat when they come to my table,” said Bernard.


“This new law will allow me to whip out my pistol and put that cow out of its’ misery right after I say grace. You smell that? That smells like America my friend. All these Asheville chefs like to cook with fancy smancy ingredients, but have you ever tried a 32 oz T-Bone seared in gun powder, partner?”


It is unclear whether House Bill 937 would actually permit Bernard from firing his firearm at a defenseless cut of meat in a public place, but it would permit Bernard to carry in his firearm at a restaurant with little restrictions.


“I assure anytime I fire my pistol it is in self defense,” said Bernard.


“You think I see a still bleeding steak coming when I order it well done? I’m just trying to defend myself from a chef that doesn’t know what he or she is doing.”


The new gun bill escaped several proposed amendments including an amendment that would require servers to ask people if they are carrying a weapon before bringing them a drink, since people carrying concealed weapons aren’t supposed to consume alcohol.


“Good move by the committee, I can’t get through breakfast without a Budweiser let alone dinner,” said Bernard.


The new gun bill will add to the already ongoing debate about guns that has been going on strong for several months in Asheville now. Read our previous articles about other gun controversies in Asheville here and here.

Author: citizenthymes

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