Man, who downloads Internet porn, confused why his computer doesn’t have virus

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CHARLOTTE- The “Internet Doomsday” virus shut down 69,000 computers today in the United States as the FBI’s temporary fix for all computers impacted by the malicious software expired 12:00 a.m. EDT this morning.

 

A Charlotte, NC resident Andrew Cortez doesn’t own one of the 69,000 computers infected by the virus. While many may rejoice at the news of their PC’s safety, Cortez is perplexed as to why his computer was not infected by the virus.

 

“I just don’t get it,” said Cortez.

 

“I download and watch a lot of Internet porn. I don’t have a malware or virus blocker. I just don’t see how my laptop escaped the virus.”

 

Cortez says he watches two hours of Internet porn nightly after his wife and kids go to bed. Cortez even admits he squeezes in Internet porn throughout the workday, when tasks come to a standstill or when stall number three is not occupied in the break room’s bathroom.

 

“I feel like I won the virus lottery or maybe not all viruses are created equal,” said Cortez.

 

“Maybe the virus creators loved porn and did not want to mess with those, who love and appreciate the art form that is porn.”

 

The originators of the virus allegedly netted $14 million in bogus advertising revenue. Six people were arrested in Estonia and charged with Internet fraud in November 2011 in connection with the virus. A seventh suspect remains at large.

 

Cortez has some advice for the FBI to catch the seventh suspect.

 

“I would start looking at hackers, who have ties to the Internet porn industry,” said Cortez.

 

“Whoever is responsible apparently doesn’t want to hurt Internet porn consumers. But don’t look at regular Internet porn moguls, because I watched some pretty messed up stuff like amputee, bestiality, poop, etc.”

 

Cortez’s wife has encouraged Cortez to see a therapist.

 

Several websites, including Facebook and McAfee, offer free diagnostic tools to check if the “Internet Doomsday” virus infects your computer.

 

The Citizen Thymes also offers a free diagnostic check. If you can read the following link, your computer is not infected.

Author: citizenthymes

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