Miss USA confused by World Peace ban

  • SumoMe

Photo by Reuters

MANLAPAN, NJ– After Los Angeles Lakers forward Metta World Peace delivered a vicious elbow to the head of Oklahoma City guard James Harden on April 22nd, many were calling for the end of World Peace’s career.


The National Basketball Association (NBA) instead issued World Peace a seven game ban this past Tuesday.


Miss USA Alyssa Campanella however disagrees with the NBA’s ban of World Peace.


“How can anyone ban world peace? World peace is something the Miss USA pageant and I have been working on since it was founded in 1952. Over 60 years of work towards world peace and you throw it away over a game of basketball?” said Campanella.


Campanella is worried issuing a ban on World Peace sends the wrong message and is worried the NBA’s influence may promote violence.


“Thousands of children dream about playing in the NBA. If the NBA bans world peace, then kids will think it is cool to be violent,” said Campanella. “How many bloody noses on the playground will the NBA be responsible for when this ban is finally over?”


NBA commissioner David Stern called Campanella Saturday to clarify the NBA’s justification of World Peace’s ban.


“I kindly told Miss Campanella that we hear her objections and appreciate her work to further world peace. But explained to Miss Campanella the NBA remains committed to taking necessary measures to protect the safety of NBA players, including the imposition of appropriate penalties for players with a history of on-court altercations,” said Stern.


Photo by Glenn Francis

Campanella said she appreciated Stern’s phone call and was especially shocked by World Peace’s conduct.


“When he explained to me that World Peace had thrown an elbow to the back of a player’s head and actually attacked a fan in 2004, I was horrified. I was like that’s not the world peace I know,” said Campanella. “It was like your parents telling you Santa Clause isn’t real. But I said to [Stern] the same thing I said to my parents in 2010, you have to have faith. I have faith in world peace and Santa Clause.”


Campanella seemed to be unaware the NBA’s World Peace, formerly known as Ron Artest is a NBA forward and not an ideal for humanity to strive for. Stern said several times he tried to explain to Campanella World Peace is a person.


“When he told me World Peace was a person, I was like of course world peace is a person,” said Campanella. “We have a little bit of world peace in all of us. If we all truly expressed our little piece of world peace we could solve all the world’s problems.”


World Peace sat out the Lakers’ regular season finale and the Lakers’ 103-88 victory over the Denver Nuggets yesterday. World Peace is due to miss five more games.


As far as Campanella’s world peace, it is clear America’s finest is working towards creating it.

Author: citizenthymes

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