ASHEVILLE- What is one suppose to do during an applause break but put a big cheese grin on your face and daydream about Asheville barbecue?
At least that was President Barack Obama’s strategy during the State of the Union address last night.
“Applause breaks can sometimes be a downer, especially when you know in the back of your mind the sooner you are done with the speech the more likely you are going to be able to catch the end of the Bulls game,” said Obama.
“But last night’s applause breaks were pretty pleasant. Every time Congress broke into applause I would just focus on Michelle and think mmmm smoked potato salad. Oh lord what about those blueberry chipotle ribs and John Quincy Adams man, don’t get me started on that corn pudding.”
Obama is scheduled to visit Asheville today and give a speech at the Linamar plant in South Asheville to discuss policies outlined in last night’s State of the Union. Obama is also expected to make his day dreaming a reality by putting in an order at 12 Bones Smokehouse.
Obama even used barbecue as driving positive force during last night’s speech when Republicans seemed to be visually perturbed by his comments.
“Yeah Rep. Eric Cantor had a sneer on his face all night, but I’m not even mad,” said Obama.
“Because tomorrow I get ribs in my mouth and bullshit will still be spilling out of his mouth.”
Secret service officials say POTUS has been counting down the hours till barbecue since Monday.
“When North Korea conducted their third nuclear test yesterday, Barack was just like ‘Kim Jong Un looks so depressed all the time. That guy needs some 12 Bones,” said Sam Simms, Secret Service agent.
“Obama even made us double check that we packed the presidential wet naps for this trip.”
Asheville citizens that enjoy sitting in traffic are advised to head to South Asheville today between 11:00 a.m. -1:00 p.m. to experience the wonders of a presidential traffic jam.