PETA protests inhumane Cherokee bear pits, Owners say not inhumane, bears have adopted BDSM lifestyle

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ASHEVILLE- Looks can be deceiving.

 

The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) protested the Chief Saumooke Bear Park in Cherokee on January 12th calling for the government to shut down the zoo due to what looks like cruel treatment of the bears.

 

PETA’s complaint adds on to the mounting pressure to shut down the zoo after the U.S. Department of Agriculture alleged last year the zoo had failed to provide the bears with adequate shelter and veterinary care.

 

But zoo owner Kole Clapsaddle says he is just giving the bears what they want.

 

Visual Reenactment- When the sun goes down the bears get freaky

Visual Reenactment- When the sun goes down the bears get freaky

“Look these bears like a little darkness in their bedroom,” said Clapsaddle.

 

“I’m all for sexual freedom and these bears have adopted a sadism and masochism lifestyle. Pain really turns them on. What we do is no different than sex shops providing whips and handcuffs. Some people see our treatment as cruelty, but if you ask the bears this is exactly what they want.”

 

The Citizen Thymes’ bear translator was on vacation, but a Brown Bear did leave us with what we can only assume is an answer.

 

“Growl, snarl, growl, sniff, sniff,” said Brown Bear.

 

The bears’ adoption of a BDSM lifestyle lends further credibility to Charlie Gordon Earll’s, a media spokesperson for Focus on the Family, theory that bears are starting to mimic certain human attributes. You can read more about Earll’s theory here.

 

But Clapsaddle says it doesn’t matter how the bears found to enjoy a BDSM lifestyle, instead all that matters is the bears are allowed to practice BDSM freely.

 

The Bear BDSM palace

The Bear BDSM palace

“Do you want people busing into your bedroom telling you how to have an intimate relationship with your wife?” said Clapsaddle.

 

“No? Then don’t try to regulate the bears’ bedroom. This is a free country and if bears want to slap each other around to get their jollies off, then it is there God given birth right. Harming the animals? Please we are fostering the perfect environment for cub making.”

 

Clapsaddle has ordered several sex swings, blindfolds, and electroshock nipples for the bears that should arrive next week.

 

Author: citizenthymes

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