Phone sex hotline a lot hotter for Asheville man now that he knows the NSA may be listening

  • SumoMe

ASHEVILLE- Sure Suzy (if that’s even her name) knew how to turn on North Asheville resident Chad Jones via the phone.

 

But now that Jones know the National Security Agency may be listening, Jone’s $2.95 a minute with Suzy feels like a trip to the Playboy mansion.

 

“I was at first a little freaked out about the possibility of the NSA listening to me masturbate via the phone,” said Jones.

 

“But the more and more I thought about it, the thought of a NSA agent listening to my phone call just got me hot. I almost feel patriotic now calling phone sex hotlines knowing that my heavy breathing is playing a small role in combating terrorism.”

 

The NSA and the Obama administration has been under heavy scrutiny after it was revealed the NSA had surveyed many Americans phone call records. Although the Obama administration insists the NSA has never listened in on such phone calls.

 

But Jones knows better.

 

“This isn’t my first rodeo my friend. I have seen spy shows on the ole teletube,” said Jones.

 

“If Obama can use drones to kill US citizens, there is probably also nothing stopping him from listening to me giving it to Suzy good. If I ever meet a real woman again that is willing to sleep with me I think I may have to engage in some Big Brother role playing. Wiretapping is just plain hot.”

 

The NSA scandal may have brought up some serious questions about civil liberties and the right to privacy, but people have seemed to ignore the impact the scandal has had on the economy. Jones says he calls Suzy now twice as often now that he knows a NSA agent is listening.

 

“I’m putting Suzy through college all by myself,” said Jones.

 

“But no need to thank me, I’m just doing my patriotic duty.”

Author: citizenthymes

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