Rep. Tim Moffit consults former Rep. Anthony Weiner over dick tweet

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ASHEVILLE- Rep. Tim Moffitt didn’t exactly tweet a picture of his dick this past Wednesday evening from his twitter account.

 

But many are calling the scandalous tweet a dick move.

 

Late Wednesday evening Moffitt’s Twitter account sent out the following tweet, “They should lock up all the gays on their own island. Except for the lesbians. Y’all can have them!”

 

Screen capture of Moffitt’s Twitter account by Mountain Xpress

 

The tweet was deleted several minutes later and Moffitt apologized via Twitter claiming his account was hacked. Moffit in an email to the Mountain Xpress revealed he had reported the hack to the authorities and was focused on more important issues.

 

Former Congressman Anthony Weiner

But former House of Representative of New York Anthony Weiner revealed to the Citizen Thymes late Sunday that the tweeter scandal has the Moffitt campaign sweating more than a pair of testicles waiting for a vasectomy.

 

“What a classic congressional misstep,” said Anthony Weiner.

 

“As page 32 of What to do when I’m caught with my political pants down? manual eloquently states ‘deny, deny, deny, and deny some more.’ This of course will work for some time until the media finds out from open records that the Moffitt campaign never reported the hack to authorities.”

 

Weiner explains the Moffitt campaign contacted him this past week on how they should handle the incident. Weiner was a victim of a Twitter scandal in 2011 after he tweeted a picture of his penis to an adult woman following him on Twitter. The scandal forced Weiner’s resignation from Congress nearly a month later.

 

“Normally I’m not one to help Republicans, but I feel bad for the guy and let’s be honest a state representative, whose main agenda is to decide who should be in charge of an airport that no one flies from, isn’t going anywhere fast,” said Weiner.

 

“I just told them to stay low and not worry about it too much, because his base is full of fellas, who don’t like the gays if you know what I’m saying. Besides locking up all the gays on an island doesn’t have to be interpreted as hate speech.”

 

Weiner sent the Moffitt campaign a list of how the statement ‘lock up gays on an island’ could be taken as a positive. Here is a small sample of the list:

 

I wanted to lock up all the gays on an island because I wanted to throw a FABULOUS beach party.

 

I wanted to lock up all the gays on an island so I could find an audience that appreciates my banana hammock.

 

I wanted to lock up all the gays on an island because EHarmony.com only caters to straight people. Now they too can review their matches for free anytime.

 

I wanted to boost the WNC tourist economy by modeling the success of Alcatraz. Just think of the money we could roll in forty years from Alcagayz.

 

I said lesbians y’all can have them because I think the fine people of WNC should still be able to enjoy a nice game of softball once in a while.

 

Weiner ended his recommendation with offering Moffitt the telephone number of one his single gay friends.

 

“It’s quite obvious if you go back and read the tweet, whoever wrote the tweet is gay,” said Weiner.

 

“The author wants to be surrounded by gay men on an island. I just figured I would help Moffitt get started with that dream.”

 

Moffitt was too busy trying to sell parts of Asheville to other entities late Sunday to comment.

 

Author: citizenthymes

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1 Comment

  1. Yeah, that would have been Michael F Mueller who runs Moffit’s media campaign. He’s kinda known for these things.

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