Romney prepares for debate by electrocuting self with computer, after watching 90’s movie The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes

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BOSTON, MASS.- Presidential candidate Mitt Romney is not expected to do well against President Barack Obama in the first presidential debate Wednesday evening.

 

Even the Romney campaign downplayed expectations for Romney this past weekend calling Obama a “universally acclaimed public speaker.”

 

But that doesn’t mean Romney isn’t going down without a fight.

 

Romney even risked his own health late Sunday, after attempting to electrocute himself with a computer in a last ditch effort to gain an advantage in Wednesday night’s debate.

 

Romney reportedly stripped naked and dived head first into his hot tub, with a plugged in Compaq laptop computer. Campaign staffers immediately pulled Romney out of the hot tub and rushed Romney to Boston Medical Center, where he was treated for minor injuries.

 

“I’m glad to say Mr. Romney will be just fine and should be more than ready to debate Barack Obama,” said John Smith, the Romney family’s physician.

 

“He may have a little trouble keeping his hair matted down the next couple of days, but with adequate rest he should be fine.”

 

The M was calling Mitt Romney’s name

A source close to the campaign says Romney was enjoying the Disney movie The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes with his family Sunday and after watching the scene where Kirk Cameron’s character Dexter gets electrocuted by a computer and turns into a genius, Romney decided electrocuting himself might be worth a shot.

 

“I mean his campaign has certainly not been executed in the most intelligent way, but to electrocute yourself with a computer?” said the anonymous source.

 

“I’m glad he is ok. But somebody should ask the Romney campaign what they’re doing with Compaq computers? If you wanted to turn yourself into a genius wouldn’t you want to electrocute yourself with a smarter operating system? Have some class for God’s sake.”

 

The Romney campaign has not revealed whether the attempt to transfer the Compaq laptop’s knowledge to Romney’s brain was successful.

 

“The man won’t release his tax returns, you think he would reveal whether he is a genius before Wednesday night?” said the anonymous source.

 

“But even if he is a genius, it doesn’t necessarily mean the American people will vote for him. Just look at our last president.”

 

The presidential debate on Wednesday will start at 9:00 p.m. and will cover domestic policy. PBS’s Jim Lehrer host of News Hour will moderate the debate.

 

The audience has been directed to wear rubber suits, jut in case Romney were to pop a fuse.

 

Author: citizenthymes

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