NORTH POLE- Turns out a giant zit guided Santa’s sleigh on one foggy Christmas Eve.
Rudolph ‘the Red-Nosed’ reindeer’s signature red nose is no more after Rudolph applied a hefty dose of Proactiv to a zit on his nose that had been bothering him for centuries.
“Everybody was like ‘hey I like your nose’ and ‘hey you saved Christmas that one time with your nose,” said Rudolph.
“But you know how embarrassing it is to have a zit that size on your nose? Sure I had a lot of red nose chasers in my day, because I saved Christmas. But every time I went to lean in and kiss them, they were repulsed.”
Rudolph ordered Proactiv two weeks ago after seeing a late nightspot during his favorite television movie Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
“I saw the commercial and was skeptical, but I figured if Kaley Couco from the Big Bang Theory uses it, I should give it a whirl,” said Rudolph.
“The stuff really works. The one time doctors on a commercial weren’t lying, miracles really do happen.”
But the nose change hasn’t been completely positive for Rudolph. Rudolph is currently seeing a therapist, as his zit was more of an integral part of his identity than he once thought.
“On one hand the giant ugly zit is off my nose,” said Rudolph.
“But now I go out in public and no one knows who I am. I just look like everybody else. I feel like I’m just another hoof in the reindeer herd. I feel invisible.”
Rudolph sometimes wears a clown nose around the house to remind him of what he once was. All the other reindeer are laughing and calling him names.