ASHEVILLE- One could say there is a zombie fad going around with all the recent references in literature, television, and movies.
Asheville even had it’s own Zombie Pub Crawl a couple weeks ago.
In fact zombies have become such a fad that you can expect a number of trick-or-treaters at your doorstep this evening in zombie garb.
However, Randy Jarvis an Asheville resident and self-identified Zombie American finds zombie costumes repulsive.
“What has this world come to?” said Jarvis.
“I thought we as Americans strive to understand other cultures, not patronize them. You don’t see us zombies go around dressing up as humans dancing around and putting on a parade, it’s disgusting.”
Jarvis argues dressing up, as a zombie is demeaning to zombies and frankly racially insensitive. Jarvis goes on to say other races wouldn’t be caught dead dressing up as other cultures.
“You don’t see African American parents dressing their kids up as Caucasians and vice-versa,” said Jarvis.
“Hell I thought we were done with this after the NAACP worked so hard to educate people how insensitive blackface was not only as a costume, but also as a theater performance. I pray that my children’s children will see the day when racial intolerance has been wiped from the world. But I guess I also said that when I was alive.”
Jarvis plans on holding a rally at Riverside Cemetery at 6:00 p.m. today to speak out against zombie costumes and for zombie equality. Attendees are encouraged to bring their own signs. Blood cocktails and human finger food will be served to all attendees.
Lady Gaga perhaps one of the most prominent zombie figures today will make a special appearance and will perform her famous single ‘You were dead this way, baby.’
Gaga will be wearing a dress made of human remains as a political statement. The human remains will be Caucasian of course to ensure political correctness.