Willy Wonka tells Asheville to get over itself when it comes to Chocolate City USA talk

  • SumoMe



“Come with me

And you’ll be

In a world of

Pure imagination

Take a look

And you’ll see

Into your imagination”


Those attuned to the Asheville chocolate scene imagine Asheville is quickly becoming Chocolate City USA.


However, Willy Wonka in an interview Saturday says Asheville can keep dreaming when it comes to claiming the title of Chocolate City USA.


“Asheville has to win every city tile there is, don’t they?” said Wonka, CEO of Wonka Bars.


“I have to say I admire Asheville’s imagination. But come on when it comes to chocolate nobody beats the work of my Oompa Loompas. I guess a solar powered chocolate factory is cool, but do y’all have a chocolate river?”


Wonka defends his factory

Asheville chocolate enthusiasts will have a chance to show off why they think Asheville is Chocolate City USA this Saturday, Dec. 8 with the Chocolate and Arts Festival. The festival which runs from noon-7:00 p.m. will feature 15 local chocolate and dessert-making businesses.


The Chocolate City USA talk started in August with Citizen Times’ food writer Mackensy Lunsford declaring Asheville Chocolate City USA. The talk heated up this past weekend after Heather Cohen, director of the Chocolate and Arts Festival, claimed Asheville had more chocolate per square inch than any place in the country.


“Let’s just say Cohen hasn’t been to the Wonka factory,” said Wonka.


“We have geese that lay golden eggs of chocolate for crying out loud. I bet your geese do nothing but shit, don’t they? Quit being a silly goose. Wonka is Chocolate City USA.”


The Citizen Thymes has come up with a way to settle this chocolate dispute once and for all. Go to our Facebook page and vote for which city you think deserves the title of Chocolate City USA. The Citizen Thymes believes just like the Beer City USA poll, people who generally know nothing about chocolate should decide, who would ultimately become Chocolate City USA.

Author: citizenthymes

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